NON-SERIES ARTICLES:

IN THE VERY

BEGINNING...

(it's a very good place to start...)

A collection of stand-alone Columns at the beginning (and later!) 
of Homeless in Paradise that are not part of 
an organized series.

                         (At right, Wanda tries her hand at guitar-playing.)                              

                                                                                                      
Column #1 - Brunch To Benefit Peninsula's Homeless Women's Programs (11/14/2014)
The 2nd Annual Pancake Brunch benefitting programs for homeless women of the Monterey Peninsula will be Sun., Nov. 16, 2014, 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m., at the Elks Lodge, 150 Mar Vista Dr., Monterey. The program will include special guest speakers who include members of the local homeless community, and a silent auction. Tickets are $20. Besides pancakes, the bruncheon banquet catered by Vista Events of Monterey will include hot beverages, juice, sizzling bacon, succulent sausage, eggs and other mouth-watering foods for build-your-own-breakfast fans.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #2 - Concert To Benefit Housing Program For Single Homeless Women (11/14/2014)
A FUNDRAISING concert to benefit “Women in Transition” (housing for single homeless women) will be given by Shelter Outreach Plus and acclaimed Monterey-based blues band Red Beans & Rice on Sun., Nov. 9, 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., at the Monterey Fairgrounds Turf Club & Patio, 2004 Fairground Road, Monterey. (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #3 - Confessions Of An Almost-Homeless Author  (11/14/2014)
On November 4 2014, two Pacific Grove city council members--prominent advocates for helping the homeless of the Monterey Peninsula--were re-elected. Ken Cuneo and Rudy Fischer sponsored the 2014 matching funds challenge that proposed: Pacific Grove will contribute $1 per resident to help the homeless if three other cities will join PG. Thus began a spring campaign in which Messrs. Cuneo and Fischer addressed every city council on the peninsula, with the public joining in. I was one of those speakers.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #4 - Homeless Speaker Raises Praises At Sunday Brunch For Women  (11/21/2014)
Highlights at last Sunday’s Second Annual Pancake Brunch and Silent Auction sponsored by Friends of Homeless Women at the Elks Club in Monterey were improvisational comedy by the Mirth-O-Matics, music by the Heartstrings Monterey quintet, and the praise-raising wit of 81-year-old Kelli. The perky little redhead who lives in her van, but does not call herself homeless, prefers the title “Senior Advocate for Women Without Adequate Housing.” Helping others is her life’s work, although social security provides income. Kelli says:  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #5 - Thankful Homeless Dine On Fancy Holiday Dinner From A Dumpster  (11/28/2014)
While turkey and trimmings were standard Thanksgiving food for most families, I witnessed a holiday season banquet where festive fare was recycled garbage spiced with “boosted” essentials that fed a homeless “family” at Laguna Grande Park in Seaside. “Boosted means stolen,” the 40-year-old gay host I call Ernie confided. “We only boost essentials, things we really need, like ketchup, salt, pepper and sugar. We never  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #6 - Homeless Secret Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town  (12/5/2014)
First stop on Homeless Santa’s Christmas agenda is the shopping center near Valero gas station in Sand City. Date of his arrival and holiday appearances on the Monterey Peninsula are flexible, so watch for him. You will recognize his atypical Santa-like familiarity. He will wear a real white beard, not part of a thrift-store costume like his non-traditional purple hat with traditional white fur trim. Homeless Santa will wear a pair of zigzag pajama bottoms... (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #7 - The Fund For Homeless Women:  Father Michael's Labor Of Love  (12/12/2014)
THE TALL MAN who dresses in casual chic, speaks like an orator, and sports both clerical collar and broad smile, was fondly called “Father Michael” during his six years of parish ministry at St. Mary’s by the Sea Episcopal Church in Pacific Grove. Following his resignation as associate pastor on Sept. 30, Michael Reid is gaining recognition as Monterey Peninsula’s fulltime “Friend of Homeless Women.” Cedar Street Times asked about his new career path: Q: What is your job title and name of your new organization? A. Nothing has changed in this regard. I remain a co-organizer of the Fund for Homeless Women (along with Kathy Whilden and Marian Penn). This is a totally volunteer position. We do not get paid. Additionally, all of the Fund's expenses are paid by us (the organizers) or through grants we solicit specifically for administration.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #8 - The Houseless Chef's Gourmet Holiday Christmas Rice  (12/19/2014)
WONDERING what to serve guests over the holidays? Try these tips from the “houseless” cook previously introduced as Ernie in this column. Before proceeding, I’ll serve this caveat. Reader, beware! If this were a restaurant column, rather than weekly update about homelessness on the Monterey Peninsula, I’d give a rave review. Here’s why. After sleeping under a tree and claiming he was warm and comfortable under a waterproof sleeping bag, Ernie singlehandedly prepared a day-after-Thanksgiving feast for 25 homeless guests at Laguna Grande Park in Seaside.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #9 - SEARCH IS ON FOR HOMELESS CENSUS GUIDES  (12/26/2014)
WHEN THE FORTHCOMING 2015 Homeless Census and Survey was announced by Glorietta Rowland at the Nov. 19 gathering of Friends of Homeless Women at St. Mary’s by the Sea Episcopal Church, a lively discussion followed. “If the homeless have no home addresses, how can they be found and counted?” Glorietta, who spent seven years as director of the Coalition of Homeless Service Providers, said, “We need people who are aware of where such locations are to help us put together guide maps.” “What people? Cops? Local residents?”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #10 - The Traveler's Motto Author's Secrets Of Homeless Census-Taking  (1/2/2015)
Remember singer Kenny Rogers’ popular “secret to survivin’” lines that immortalized Don Schultz’s song about winning at poker in Kenny’s 1978 hit album “The Gambler”? You gotta know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run. . .”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #11 - REVIEW: A SURPRISE TWIST TO SECRET SANTA’S PLOT FLOP  (1/9/2015)
The rain-delayed debut of Homeless Secret Santa happened in Sand City five days before the real Santa’s anticipated arrival on Christmas Eve. I learned of Secret Santa’s show from Ernie outside the Salvation Army’s chapel on Fri., Dec. 19. “Santa’s flying tomorrow,” Ernie announced with exuberant relief. Exuberant because, at last, money would come in and net proceeds would be split three ways: Ernie, as entrepreneurial director would get a 1/3 cut; Santa would get 1/3; the remaining 1/3 would be given out among needy homeless people. Relief because Ernie, aka The Gay Gourmet, was excited about his creative street-performance show biz scheme expected to produce donations with which to buy a car.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #12 - THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF A BEATNIK POET-PAINTER WHO MASQUERADED AS SUSANINA OF VENICE WEST   (1/16/2015)
RECENTLY, I got an e-mail about homelessness at Venice Beach from a 1952 Monrovia-Arcadia-Duarte High School classmate. The Care2 Causes story, dated December 10, 2014, by Crystal Shepeard, said, “Venice Beach, California is the stuff of legends and fantasy.” Right! The report described Venice as “the home of an increasingly large transient population” that. . . has resulted in a de-facto homeless encampment.” What?  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #13 - CEDAR STREET TIMES WINS TOP HONOR AT 9TH ANNUAL ALL WOMEN’S BALL   (1/23/2015) 
A Cedar Street Times’ writer won the Monterey Peninsula’s version of Hollywood’s Oscar at the 9 th annual All Women’s Ball sponsored by Community Human Services (CHS) on Sat., Jan. 17, at the Elks Club in Monterey. Wanda Sue Parrott’s gold trophy—a la fashion designer Oscar de la Renta—for Best Dress of the evening was presented by last year’s winner, Sheridan Stephens, attired in an 18thcentury French peacock-feather mask with matching fan.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #14 - BOOKS FOR BEDS AUTHORS AND POETS ARE HELPING TO HEAL HOMELESSNESS ONE BED AT A TIME   (1/30/2015)  
A STRANGE COINCIDENCE happened on Jan. 12, but it didn’t make the news—until now. Two benches vanished from the spots they’ve occupied for years outside the Monterey Post Office on the same day Books for Beds was officially kicked off. Books for Beds, a fledgling literary speakers bureau, currently consists of four published authors and poets who meet twice a month on Saturday mornings at Juice ‘n Java in Pacific Grove. SatChat is their critique group led by Harold E. Grice, past-president of the Central Coast Writers branch of the California Writers Club. To qualify for Books for Beds, writers must have at least one published book. They must also have once been homeless, houseless or somewhere in between.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #15 - 2015 POINT-IN-TIME HOMELESS CENSUS TAKERS ASK: “WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE GONE?”  (2/6/2015)
ACTUAL RESULTS of the bi-annual Homeless Census in Monterey County won’t be released for several weeks, but preliminary facts indicate the city of Monterey’s homeless population outnumbers Pacific Grove’s by about 10 to 1. The ratio of homeless women to homeless men seems to be 1.06 females per every 10 males. These statistics were gathered Wed., Jan. 28, 2015, by my 4-member crew during the 2015 Point-in-Time Homeless Census conducted by the Watsonville branch of Applied Survey Research. ASR’s mission statement is: Helping people build better communities since 1980.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #16 - ONE STARFISH SAFE PARKING NOT CAMPING   (2/13/2015)
During the 2015 Point-in-Time Homeless Census on Jan. 28, counting houseless people living in vehicles was a challenge. These clip art photos (left to right) look like vehicles I spotted on side streets in Seaside. One or two adults lived in a van, along with two or three dogs. Windows had coverings to hide possessions in the vehicles and hand-painted art adorned doors and sides. Old campers and vans were parked at different spots each night, since there is no One Starfish Safe Parking Program in Seaside.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #17 - Where Have All the Bodies Gone? Counting Graves Along Monterey County’s Homeless Trail Of Tears  (2/20/2015)
ENUMERATING live homeless people in Monterey County is difficult; counting the dead is not impossible. The 2015 Point-in-Time Homeless Survey indicates 7000 homeless children now live in Monterey County, but no one knows exactly how many homeless died here over the past decade. According to Detective Sergeant Archie Warren of the Monterey County Sheriff’s Dept., “Our computer system can track homeless individuals when this box is checked in our SIRRON program, but it goes back, I believe, until 2007 when the program was purchased.”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #18 - YOU BE THE JUDGE: PENINSULA PANHANDLERS’ SALES-PITCH SIGNS INSPIRE “KITES WITHOUT TAILS” WRITING CONTEST   (2/28/2015)
SO MANY HOMELESS panhandlers were flying signs on sunny Wed., Feb. 18, it seemed spring had come early to the Monterey Peninsula. Messages painted on cardboard with colored markers weren’t banners. What did they say? I squinted to read the first sign held by a fortyish man sitting cross-legged at the intersection of Playa Ave. and California Ave. in Sand City. His cardboard rectangle blended with his khaki pants and army camouflage poncho.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #19 - MONTEREY’S HOMELESS REVOLUTION   (3/6/2015) 
“Greater than the tread of mighty armies is an idea whose time has come.” Victor Hugo (1802-1885) BEFORE HOMELESSNESS was identified as a burgeoning blight across the U.S., it had to be acknowledged. Here on the Monterey Peninsula, aka “Paradise,” dawning of the Age of Homeless Awareness is depicted on this hypothetical Hometown Calendar:  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #20 - Monterey’s Missing Men Mystery and Magic!   (3/13/2015)
NAMING winning slogans in our “Kites without Tails” Writing Contest was easy. If we ever find the 1 st Place winner, we might announce his name. Along with the two other finalists, he disappeared the first week of March. So, all we know is: Fifty-five people served as judges during the ten days after publication of “Homeless in Paradise” (Fri., Feb. 27 edition of Cedar Street Times) which cited ... (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #21 - WOMEN IN TRANSITION   (3/20/2015)
SURE AND BEGORRA, there was more than a wee touch of Leprechaun Magic in Marina during St. Patrick’s birthday week, and you might have had a taste of it yourself. The big celebration started with the cutting of a green ribbon at 12:30 p.m. on Thurs., March 12 in renovated former government housing, in a ...  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #22 - KICK THE CAN POLITICS: Homelessness versus diplomacy on Seaside City Council   (3/27/2015)
IF I WERE EMPOWERED to give out public service honors, Seaside City Councilman David R. Pacheco would have won 2015 Diplomat of the Year Award at last week’s city council meeting. Dave’s response to an item on Seaside’s March 19 agenda was so moving that I was catapulted back to age 10 during World Two, when kids played Kick the Can and dignified diplomacy was a way of life summed up by my dad as, “Mind your mouth.” “Why?” I didn’t want to be a doormat. “Loose lips can sink ships,” he said. Mother prided herself for personal protocol. She said, “When someone gives you a gift or sends an invitation, always reply within three days of receipt.”   (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #23 - ASHES FROM THE FOOD BANK FIRE   (4/3/2015)
IF YOUR HEART was pricked by the thorny March 21 fire that decimated four Monterey County Food Bank refrigerated delivery trucks, and damaged the warehouse in Salinas, relax. Food was again flowing to the hungry by Mon., March 30. Thanks to the generous support of the business and private community, people joined forces to fend off hunger by helping buy, deliver and serve food to the local pantries and branches of the food bank. Many had no prior knowledge of what a food bank is or does. Do you?   (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #24 - LAST CIRCLE-UP FOR BONNIE   (4/10/2015)
Formerly Homeless I-HELP Hostess Dies At Sixty By Wanda Sue Parrott WHEN WE CIRCLED up for dinner on Sun., March 29 at Unitarian Universalist Church of the Monterey Peninsula, an I-HELP guest noted the absence of a regular hostess and asked. “Where’s Bonnie?” I-HELP, an acronym for Interfaith Homeless Emergency Lodging Program, has provided food and shelter consistently for more than 21 years at houses of worship in Monterey County, where a homecooked dinner is served and sleeping accommodations are given to between 25 and 30 homeless men. At UUCMP, I-HELP night is... (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #25 - A REFUGE FOR UNSHELTERED WOMEN   (4/17/2015)
The Rising of the Women means the Rising of Us All. . . --James Oppenheim THE GATHERING PLACE (aka TGP) celebrated its first year as a robust weekly day center for homeless women at two luncheons at the Moose Lodge, 555 Canyon Del Rey Blvd., Del Rey Oaks. Tues., March 31 featured Easter pails with colorful eggs for children and personal gift items for women, thus ending an experimental year that began April 1, 2014, at San Carlos Cathedral in Monterey where a lasagna lunch was served by a few volunteers to 17 homeless women. TGP moved on Dec. 2, 2014, to the Moose Lodge, where weekly gatherings continued growing between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. every Tuesday.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #26 - THE BOONDOGGLER’S BIBLE BOOK SALE PROCEEDS BENEFIT SEASIDE SALVATION ARMY   (4/24/2015)
BOONDOGGLING PAYS, if you know how to play the Boondoggling Game to win. If not, you lose—whether you perpetrate a boondoggle or are its victim. I’ve been on both sides of boondogglery. I emerged on top by learning how to fight like city hall—to win. I got a large settlement after a long one-person stand against city hall nearly left me penniless, homeless and lifeless in an ongoing battle to get the city of Springfield, MO. to buy my storm-water/sewage-destroyed property. By using boondoggle tactics to cut through bureaucratic red tape, I survived to write the exposé and help the homeless.   (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Columns #27-29 are part of the SUICIDE SERIES. Click here to read them...
Column #30 - MONTEREY’S ALMOST-MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION: To grind or not to grind up asphalt? (5/22/2015)
TO GRIND OR NOT to grind up asphalt? That fork in the road (symbolized by the highway clipart shown above) confronted Monterey City Council at its meeting on May 5, at which time the issue was tabled until May 19. The two-weeks served as a Help Needed campaign, message of which was: “The City of Monterey is in a quandary. Affordable housing for low-income families and homeless people is needed desperately, but help is also needed to manage such projects.”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #31 - FIELDS OF DREAMS FOR TINY HOMES (Part 1) - Now they’ve built the first one, when will others come? (5//29/2015)
INSPIRING as last week’s announcement on KSBW Action News 8 was--that the mayor of Hollister plans to build a village of microhomes like the one unveiled above--a rash of questions rose from the in-depth coverage by reporter Felix Cortez. They include: If houses as small as this one-bedroom unit with mini-kitchen and bath would help solve the homeless problem on the Monterey Peninsula, where would they be built, when, and who will build them? A look at the Three Rs of Homelessness will shed some light on the issue: Real Estate; Responsiveness; Resources.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #32 - FIELDS OF DREAMS FOR TINY HOMES (Part 2)  (6/5/2015)
Tomorrow’s building motto: Think small, build big, go solar! FACING HOMELESSNESS, a Cedar Street Times reader I’ll call Annie left this urgent message on The Yodel Poet answering machine last week: “If you give me contact information for people who provide tiny homes, I’ll live in one and put my stuff in storage while I’m finding another place.” Annie recently received notice to vacate the apartment where she has lived for twelve years. “There just isn’t anything affordable for rent around here. . .” She sounded scared... (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #33 - SENIOR “TRAVELERS” ON THE ROAD How to be healthy, happy, and houseless by choice  (6/12/2015)
IT’S ALMOST SUMMER. Travelers are coming to, and moving through, the Monterey Peninsula. A fine line separates Tourists from Travelers; Travelers are homeless. They’re reputed to earn cash by panhandling and/or harvesting marijuana up and down the coast. There are also Travelers like Bob and Jamie Stephenson. Although technically they are a retired couple who live on their fixed incomes, they definitely fit the categories in the hypothetical “Encyclopedia of American Homeless Nomenclature” that defines Traveler as:  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #34 - SEX, DRUGS AND GRAD-I-TUDE Search for child sex slaves leads to sobriety ceremony (Part 1)  (6/19/2015)
LAUNCHING a query into countywide child sex trafficking started after I found a pocket-size paperback by the trash bin in the Monterey Post Office. If a thoughtful boxholder had dumped Sometimes God Has a Kid’s Face (Covenant House, 2010), I wouldn’t have discovered Genesis House in Seaside. And, oh, what a discovery it was! Long story short: I read the paperback, written by Covenant House’s former founder and president, Sister Mary Rose McGeady, who died in 2012 at age 84, and wondered: “Since Covenant House (CH) is the nation’s largest shelter for homeless and runaway kids, with shelters in 21 cities, is the Community Human Services (CHS) of Monterey a Covenant House branch?”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #35 - HOPE AND HELP FOR HOMELESS RUNAWAYS Life on the streets is no easy game to play (Part 2)  (6/26/2015)
KICKING life on the streets isn’t like kicking the can—it’s not an easy game like we played when I was a child, and the streets were mostly safe. If street life were easy, there wouldn’t be kids like Freddy, 17, who cries in “Sometimes God Has a Kid’s Face” (Covenant House, 2010) by Sister Mary Rose McGeady: “It’s in my blood… I was a born an addict. There’s nothing you can do to help me!” Oh, yeah? Freddy landed at Covenant House after a year on the streets. Like many other runaways, he left home to avoid weekly beatings, but started boozing with his parents at ten. Drugs came after he fled home to find peace on the streets. “Instead, Freddy found what all kids find—the aloneness, hunger, fatigue and darkness of an unforgiving world on the street,” the book states.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #36 - POETS PRAISE BAG LADIES The California bag lady turns 48 this year!  (7/3/2015)
WHEN YOU SPOT a woman pushing a shopping cart full of bulging sacks, do you assume she is a “bag lady” like the women described by poets Gail Denham and Paul Samuels, whose poems appeared in the 2012 GOLDEN WORDS anthology of American Senior Poets Laureate Award winners? Or do you side with 1999 National Senior Poet Laureate Emery L. Campbell, whose humorous depiction of a non-homeless bag lady was written in 2005?  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #37 - CAMPERS, BEGONE! Where will the houseless go from here?  (7/10/2015)
WHILE PACIFIC Grove’s city council was debating sites for Pebble Beach Company’s proposed affordable housing in June, Monterey and Seaside pondered how to quash the spread of illegal campsites in Laguna Grande Park, which they jointly share. Since Monterey passed its “Sit & Lie Ordinance” last year, the homeless have migrated to Seaside. Many sleep in the 35-acre Laguna Grande encampment corridor on Canyon Del Rey, between Fremont and Del Monte, sandwiched between residential neighborhoods.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

                                                               Columns #38, 39, and 41 are part of the LGBTQI SERIES.  Click here to read them...
Column #40 -THE SAGA OF A BIG STUFFED POOH BEAR, A HOMELESS WOMAN, AND AN 80-YEAR-OLD ADVOCATE FOR THE HOMELESS (7/17/2015)
Date: Sat., 18 Jul 2015 Seaside, California A HOMELESS PERSON dumped her blankets and stuff in the front yard and then took her little dog and left. It was 8:30 a.m. I reported it to 9-1-1- but do not want the police to remove the stuff yet, as it is probably all the woman owns in the world.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #42 - FAREWELL TO POOH AND THE FOUR-LEGGED BUTTERFLY Final File Notes (7/31/2015)
File Note Tues., July 21, 2015 This morning I received an e-mail from the Seaside Police Department advising they had not picked up the black bags containing Pooh and an assortment of clothes and other items I’d reported finding in my yard. Nor had the Department of Public Works taken them. They vanished Sunday night. Late this afternoon I was leaving for the Central Coast Writers meeting when someone knocked on my door. (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #43 - WOMEN ON THE STREETS Who, what, and where is Granny? Part 1  (8/7/2015)
TRYING to estimate how many homeless women need shelter is summarized in this metaphorical Dutch couplet shared by poet Emery Campbell, who learned it from his wife Hettie: Almost is not half. A cow is not a calf.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #44 - GRANNIES FOR GRANNIES Second-Unit solution to Sinking Section 8 Sector Part 2  (8/14/2015)
FACING homelessness or already being without a permanent place to consider home forces every woman without adequate shelter to ask, Where do I go from here? If she is a single senior woman age 50 and older, aka a Granny, she may be forced to be transient by circumstance rather than choice, unless she is lucky like Toni, a 70-something resident of Pacific Grove who recently received a 90-day notice to vacate the apartment she had rented under Section 8 for twelve years.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #45 - PASTA WITH THE PASTORS Italian Feast Fetes History And Homelessness   (8/21/2015)
DINING to benefit the I-HELP Program of Monterey Peninsula has become a legendary faith-based culinary event in Monterey over the years, and you are heartily encouraged to attend. If you enjoy feasting on Italian foods, you’ll love this event. Religious affiliation isn’t required. A hearty appetite and good heart are the only requisites. Mark your calendar: Pasta with the Pastors, Thurs., Aug. 27, 4:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m., San Carlos Parish Hall, 500 Church St., Monterey.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column #46 - LADY LUCK IS LOOKING UP A Winning Round For Houseless Women   (8/28/2015)
If homelessness in Monterey County could be converted to Frank Loesser’s 1950 smash hit Broadway musical “Guys and Dolls,” the song from Act II would have stolen the show with its winning hand on Aug. 18 at Monterey City Hall. Imagine character Nathan Detroit intoning Luck be a lady tonight before the public addressed City Council. The outcome couldn’t have been better if they were playing to break the bank! Council voted yes unanimously, and everyone was a winner—especially women!  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #47 - HISTORY ALMOST REPEATS ITSELF The more things change, the more they stay the same  (9/4/2015)
(While cleaning out papers recently, Wanda Sue Parrott found an old brief case filled with handwritten notes made during her move to Monterey in 1962 when, as an aspiring writer, she spent a year following in John Steinbeck’s footsteps. Here is one of those tales, slightly edited, from 53 years ago.) September 1962 I moved to Monterey the first week of September 1962. The Jazz Festival was in town at the Monterey County Fairgrounds and everywhere along the streets people stepped from the curbs into the oncoming lanes of traffic.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #48 - WHEN OUR HEART IS IN A HOLY PLACE. . . At last, I-HELP for Women is coming!   (9/11/2015)
STARTING in November, the Interfaith Homeless Emergency Lodging Program (I-HELP) sponsored by Outreach Unlimited of Marina will include women. The long-awaited news was announced by Karen Araujo at the Pasta with the Pastors fundraising dinner to benefit I-HELP Aug. 27 at San Carlos Cathedral in Monterey. The combined efforts of advocates resulted in this victory, especially the Fund for Homeless Women whose grant money made it possible.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #49 - IF ANIMALS COULD SPEAK. . . What might our homeless dogs and cats say?  (9/18/2015)
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE between being a homeless dog or cat and belonging to a homeless person? The former includes feral animals, strays and left-behinds forgotten or abandoned by humans, often because owners can’t afford pet food. The latter are like Charlie, the spoiled little Papillon pooch who lives with a homeless grandmother I’ve called Jill in past columns. His home is wherever Jill is, be it on a friend’s cozy couch or in the freezing midnight brush of Laguna Grande Park in Seaside.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column #50 - HOT FUNDRAISER IN FIRST FIREHOUSE Food, Wine, And Laughter For The Fund For Homeless Women  (9/25/2015)
AS THE WORST FIRE SEASON in California history winds down, fall fundraising season activities heat up. The 2015 last-quarter charitable-giving season kicks off with a benefit in Monterey’s famous old downtown firehouse-turned-restaurant, Montrio Bistro. The Fund for Homeless Women will receive 100 percent of money raised on Thurs., Oct. 1, 5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. on the second floor of the glamorous Montrio Bistro, 414 Calle Principal, Monterey.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
                                                               Columns #51-54 are part of the WINTER IS COMING SERIES. Click here to read them...
Column #55 - TRICK OR TREAT: How to handle homeless Halloween cats?  (10/30/2015)
UPON OPENING my door shortly before Halloween, I discovered a terrified black kitten with blue eyes. “Is oo a twick or tweat?” I asked in babylike babble author Morton Cooper, Ph.D. calls “Pet Talk,” a universal language intoned by feral cat feeders of the world—whose ranks I had promised not to become. Now I faced a huge challenge as kitty hissed at me. “Whose baby is oo?” I bent down. Whoosh! Kitten vanished under a patch of drought-dried weeds and a tiger-striped queen emerged growling. Mama’s fangs were bared, she hissed like a sneeze trying to happen, and her ribs protruded so I could imagine the bones rattling. She meowed, “Don’t touch me. Do feed me.”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
                                                               Columns #56-62 are part of the EL NINO WEATHER WATCH SERIES, Click here to read them...
Column 63 - YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE HOMELESS TO FREEZE TO DEATH – Part 1 - When The Weather Outside Is Frightful  (12/25/2015)
THIS COLUMN shares season’s warmest greetings mixed with homage to the men who froze to death last week in Monterey. The fact two men found lying near each other in a lot across from Trader Joe’s were homeless is incidental, since human can suffer fatal hypothermia anywhere, both outdoors, as in houseless and indoors, as in sheltered. The men in Monterey were lightly clad, unlike arctic explorers in this old engraving who were properly attired for frigid weather but froze anyway.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 64 - YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE HOMELESS TO FREEZE TO DEATH – Part 2 When Hypothermia Produces Hallucinations (1/1/2016)
React To Visions, Or Lie There And Let Yourself Die? IF THE DEAD COULD SPEAK, two homeless men who froze on Dec. 14-15 in downtown Monterey could reveal whether invisible hallucinatory figments beckoned or whispered to them. Or did they lose consciousness, then expire painlessly in the cool-down phase of flash-fire death? Hallucinations and the sensation of extreme body heat are common symptoms of hypothermia; however, you need not be freezing or homeless to see and feel things that aren’t really there. Rational non-homeless people also report diaphanous guardians, gurus and even grisly guides pointing the way back to life. So what?  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column 65 - FIRST NATIONAL BOONDOGGLE-BUSTER   (1/8/2016)
A BOONDOGGLE-BUSTER destroys barriers so critical issues that are dragging on can be resolved once and for all. Starting now! In my book, The Boondoggler’s Bible, boondogglery is simply defined as: Useless work = time and money wasted. Best-known boondogglers are politicians and other public servants, but a boondoggler can be any influential person who uses stall-and-delay tactics to delay ending public, private or personal issues. Across the nation, homeless people are dying while arguments continue in city halls about how to solve homelessness. Justification by boondogglers for such deaths is usually: They exercised the freedom to choose to sleep outside in the cold.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 66 - WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GRANNY ANNIE IS RELEASED? Respite care is coming for the recovering hospitalized homeless (1/15/2016)
DISCUSSING Harold E. Grice’s one-act play “The Houseless Hussies” raises my curiosity. “If Granny Annie gets sick, what happens to her? Harold responds, “After she gets well, what happens?” The reason for our conflab over coffee is to authenticate facts in Harold’s fictional play-in-progress about real life on the streets. I report about the homeless scene on the Monterey Peninsula. Harold converts facts into generalities that could happen to anyone, anyplace, any time. He shows me his pencil sketch of the short, bulky protagonist, Granny Annie, who chooses to live alone in an encampment abandoned by her other friends. “What do you think?”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 67 - WHEN RAGING GRANNIES SING . . . They speak their minds because it hurts to bite their tongues (1/22/2016)
While help-the-homeless news was being made last week, Darby Moss Worth spoke up for grannies, loosely defined as homeless women past 50, or all women old enough to have grandchildren. Darby focused on Raging Grannies. Recalling her 91-year life, Darby introduced Raging Grannies at the Women’s Discussion Group at the Unitarian Universalist Church on Thurs., Jan. 14. Raging Grannies are women who first wrote protest lyrics about the Canadian government, set them to well-known tunes, and sang out in public.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 68 - GOOD KARMA/BAD KARMA? What does Buddha say about the vote in Monterey?   (1/29/2016)
DIPPING thumb and forefinger into my Bedside Buddha Bowl has been a morning practice since I started meditating in a Buddhist Sangha nine months ago. If I correctly interpret my Daily Dharma Directive, my own Inner Buddha’s wisdom should point to Right Action that day. In other words, the challenge is to curb over-emotional reactivity through Mindfulness that ends suffering.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 69 - MONTEREY CITY COUNCIL’S FORTUNE COOKIE Naming The Homeless Dragon Is How To Tame It. (2/5/2016)
CONTRARY to some public opinion, Monterey City Council should be commended—not condemned--says Buddha, whose metaphorical advice from the slip of paper in my Buddha Bowl was so sage I had to consult an interpreter: Naming the Dragon is how to tame it. “Can you explain what this means?” I asked MJ Becco, US Army veteran-turned-haiku-poet who retired from a 20-year military career in Springfield, Missouri. MJ responded like a dragon swallowing its own tail. “I learned it from a teacher in Korea. When you can name a fear, you can control it.”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 70 - HOW THIS COLUMN BEGAN Reprising Pacific Grove’s matching-funds challenge  (2/12/2016)
TODAY (Feb. 12) is my 81st birthday and the 70th column in this “Homeless in Paradise” series in Cedar Street Times, Pacific Grove’s weekly newspaper that’s published online every Thurs. and in print form on Fri. Crunch the numbers. Eighty-one minus 70 equals lucky 11. I invented my first job at age 11 by writing a neighborhood newspaper in 1946 in the Emery Park district of Alhambra, Calif. After creating a master which was hand-copied in pen and ink. I delivered the gossip sheet to neighbors who paid a dime per issue. I’ve been a writer ever since. Where’s this column going next? Let’s look at a phenomenon that started in Pacific Grove.   (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 71 - LIKE A FRIENDLY POKER GAME… Monterey’s Challenge-Funds ante has yet to be matched  (2/19/2016)
FOLLOWING its city council meeting of Dec. 15, 2015, Monterey voted to contribute $28,252 to homeless issues and reprise the Matching-Funds Challenge initiated in 2014 by Pacific Grove if other peninsula cities accept the invitation. Since government is notable for moving slowly, winter might evolve well into spring before the outcome of Monterey’s challenge is known.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 72 - HOMELESS OUTREACH… The Monterey Peninsula’s best-kept secrets--until now  (2/26/2016)
AMAZING things transpire in the Fellowship Hall of First Presbyterian Church, Monterey, the third Monday each month, although few people hear much about the Peninsula’s best-kept secrets. If those who’ve been quietly reshaping history at the monthly Homeless Outreach meetings were typical El Niño-year politicos, hot scirrocos would sear the woods that surround the church; instead, a serene radiance prevails during even the most-heated debates, majority of which deal with homelessness in Monterey and ways to resolve it. For instance, participant Rev. Cindy Storrs, pastor of United Methodist Church, attended Homeless Outreach meetings to air plans for her church to offer to host women in the One Starfish Safe Parking Program, which would allow as many as six homeless women to sleep in their vehicles in the parking lot, and Interfaith Homeless Emergency Lodging Program (I-HELP) for Men, which would provide a meal and indoor overnight shelter to as many as 25 men.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 73 - MOVE OVER, OSCAR!! Hollywood-style glitz and glamour help Monterey’s homeless  (3/4/2016)
PREDICTING winners is America’s favorite pastime. If you watched the Academy Awards last Sunday, you know the Best Picture category of nominees was dominated by science-fiction/fantasy films. One was even entitled “The Martian.” The wake of the annual Academy Awards week in Hollywood coincides with the Oscar Effect’s wake-up round of charitable spring fundraisers starring local off-screen stars strutting their stuff. First two organizations to be producing special showman-like events to benefit the homeless community share the same initials: CHS. Here is their agenda in the order in which they will appear. Mark your calendar for one or both show-stopping events.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 74 - GOLDEN CONNECTIONS Is there a homeshare on your horizon?   (3/11/2016)
BUILDING community is Golden Connections’ purpose in general, with shelter for and by women its specific goal. If Doris Beckman of Marina had taken a less-than-businesslike approach to widowhood back in 2014, she might have ended up homeless instead of founder of Golden Connections, roughly defined as a private female friendly fraternal community that sometimes shares housing. After her husband of 43 years died, Doris realized she must do something or she might wind up living in her car. So she started her homeshare business and named it Golden Connections. It has expanded to include monthly meetings featuring topics of interest to women, but the homeshare core of Golden Connections is controversial because it has erroneously been assumed to be a free service that finds housing for homeless women.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 75 - ONE-MINUTE QUIZ Can you name the stars on the homeless stage & screen?   (3/18/2016)
NAME-DROPPING is an American addiction. If you’re a film buff, you can name Academy Awards winners. If a political junkie, you know the candidates. How many homeless or formerly homeless people can you name? Take this short quiz. If you pass, great. If you flunk, that’s okay, too. Then read my answers. You might be surprised! Answer These Questions 1. Name the most-famous homeless character today? 2. Who is Alan Bennett? 3. Name ten rich, famous celebrities who were once homeless?  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 76 - SO, WHAT’S NEWS? Gossip and gab about what’s going on   (3/25/2016)
TRYING to cover the whole homeless scene is a huge challenge. If I use a gossip column approach, good, bad and ongoing haps can be strung together like Christmas lights on a spring green pine. Here’s the bad news first. The long-awaited Interfaith Homeless Emergency Lodging Program for Women (I-HELP dinners and overnight shelters for women) finally began in November 2015. It took 23 years to arrive, was given a boost by a grant from the Fund for Homeless Women (a field fund of the Community Foundation for Monterey County) and lasted only four months.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 77 - SO, WHAT’S NEWS? What kind of horse would you call yourself?  (4/1/2016)
FOLLOWING Interfaith Homeless Emergency Lodging Program for Women’s premature obit in last week’s column, I believed I-HELP for Women was dead. If Dad hadn’t popped into mind with “Hold your horses,” the metaphor of humans as equines wouldn’t have happened. According to Sandy Larson, I-HELP for Women is not quite ready for the glue factory. After the March 21 meeting of Homeless Outreach at First Presbyterian Church, Monterey, Sandy e-mailed John Clark’s message about Outreach Unlimited’s I-HELP for the distaff side: “I-HELP for Women is not dead, it’s on ‘pause.’ They’re regrouping. At least two people will be doing research and find out what homeless women want and need.” I could hear Dad. “Sure, they need housing in old Fort Ord, not a horse track like Monterey Downs.” Strange, since I grew up near Santa Anita Race Track and my parents loved betting on ponies.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 78 - SO, WHAT’S NEWS? Guess who’s predicted to be coming to town?  (4/8/2016)
GATHERING for Women, take note! If the number of homeless women arriving for lunch on Tuesdays has suddenly risen, Jill Allen’s prediction is proving true. She is Executive Director of Dorothy’s Place in Salinas. Jill spoke at the March 30 meeting of Friends of Homeless Women about the sweep that’s permanently vacating encampments of around 200 homeless people in Chinatown. “Where are they going?” I asked. Jill said, “They’re coming to the peninsula, looking for a discreet place to camp.”
(CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 79 - VIEWS ON NEWS Part 1: How should you react when you can’t avoid homeless people?  (4/15/2016)
AVOIDING the homeless is almost impossible. If you never step outside, your chance of encountering a homeless person is slim, but otherwise, as I often hear, “You see the homeless everywhere these days.” Or “I don’t know how to react to homeless strangers, so what do you suggest I do or say?” Sorry, there’s no etiquette book—yet—about interaction in today’s polarized culture in which the “have” class and” have nots” are no longer measured by Blue Book status or wealth alone. Today’s criteria for assessing haves versus have nots include whether they have adequate, if any, shelter?  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 80 - VIEWS ON NEWS Part 2: Where will Seaside’s camper crackdown lead?  (4/22/2016)
SEEING recent news about Chinatown sweeps prompted several readers to ask, “If the homeless can’t camp in Salinas, where’ll they go?” “I don’t know.” “You’ve been to Chinatown?” a world-traveler assumed. “A friend pointed it out when we drove through Salinas last year.” “But, it’s only fifteen miles from the peninsula. . .” “When was the last time you visited Chinatown?”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 81 - VIEWS ON NEWS  Part 3: Tackling Seaside’s tricky-trucks dilemma  (4/29/2016)
MOVING on awaits Seaside’s mobile homeless population. If their vans, recreational vehicles, campers, and trucks aren’t gone after the city’s vehicle code is amended in the near future, many will be towed away—but to where and by whom?
They live in their vehicles because they can’t afford housing. Where will they live next? Those questions arose at Seaside City Council’s public hearing meeting on April 21 where creation of a Draft Ordinance that amends the city’s Vehicle Code was approved to prohibit certain overnight parking on the streets and, in some cases, in driveways and on private property. Ultimate outcome will mean the ouster of illegally parked vehicles used as homes-on-wheels.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 82 - MEET THE STRINGFELLOWS Will homelessness be solved before the Grim Reaper strikes?  (5/6/2016)
WRITING this column is a privilege, and I’ve now published one column for every year of my life. If--as my Ozarks-born dad used to say--“the Grim Reaper don’t get me first,” this week’s column, number 82, will be dedicated to Marge Ann Jameson, Cedar Street Times’ visionary editor/publisher, by introducing a few “stringers” whose contributions make homelessness so interesting this column now has worldwide readership. In media parlance, a “stringer” is a freelancer who writes for a news source but is not an employee. The term “fellow” means colleague, whether one is male, female, or in-between. So, my combined nickname for my extended journalistic family is “Stringfellow.” Meet a few Stringfellows.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 83 - REFLECTIONS: You don’t have to be houseless to feel homeless in your heart   (5/13/2016)
REMEMBERING anniversaries doesn’t necessarily mean celebrating them. If my “Suicide in Seaside” series in May 2015 hadn’t included the term “homeless in the heart” to describe the victim’s depression, the three columns might have faded into history instead of making it. Instead, because a person died, a phrase was born. A host of reactions came from readers who admitted they’ve also experienced feeling homelessness of the heart. They included veterans, a chef, and a famous American poet who shares her poignant Mother’s Day memoir. Yvonne Nunn, of Hermleigh, Texas, who lives on a ranch, is the former Senior Poet Laureate of Texas and 2005 Pissonneteer of the Year.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 84 - MOVE OVER, BROADWAY!! Memorial weekend vaudeville gala benefits homeless women  (5/20/2016)
STAGING a benefit to raise funds for Gathering for Women was on Bobbie Hall’s mind after the February meeting of Friends of Homeless Women. “If we give a musical variety show, do you think anyone would come?” she asked. “If the public loves vaudeville-style shows as much as I do, the answer is a big YES,” I said. “Would the Tap Bananas perform?” “I’ll ask.”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 85 - FROM BARD-BOMBS TO BLITZES Getting results through a “Homeless News Day” media event (5/27/2016)
BARD-BOMBING the Bush White House in a mass Poetic Voice to protest the pending invasion of Iraq in March 2003 was a failure. If my experiment had succeeded, diplomacy, not war, would have revealed Saddam Hussein didn’t have the ballyhooed weapons of mass destruction. It’s possible a gadzillion poets actually hand-penned protest poems on postcards, then mailed them to the first lady, but the White House never leaked a word about Laura’s early April card shower. Did the literary protest end in defeat, or was poetry considered insignificant by the powers-that-were? Anyway, what the connection to homelessness? It’s an election year, that’s what! Read on.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 86 - SHARE YOUR MEMORIES Who was the first homeless person you remember?  (6/3/2016)
RECALLING my first homeless person inspired the following short tale. If you remember the first homeless person you ever saw, please share your memory as a letter, fiction, non-fiction, or poem. We’ll hopefully gather enough memoirs for a chapbook to sell as a fundraiser to benefit the 450 homeless women on the Monterey Peninsula, starting with the four senior-seniors (nonagenarians) and working backwards. My 500-word historical fiction is woven from post-war memories in Alhambra a year after the end of the war we Southern California kids called “the Duration.”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 87 - HYPOTHETICAL HOMELESS OLYMPICS Redefining “Dumpster Diving”: Is it a sport or a crime? (6/10/2016)
THINKING about the forthcoming Olympics in Rio on Aug. 5–21 led to comparing Olympians’ athleticism, strength and grit to homeless persons, and wondering: If Monterey were to stage its own form of special Homeless Olympics, which category would win the Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals: divers, cyclists, or beach volleyball players? The answer seemed obvious. Gold would go to the divers—meaning, dumpster divers also known internationally as “garbage pickers” and “trash fishers.” Such scavengers can be found at all hours of night and day, digging through refuse like legendary treasure hunters of old.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 88 - THEY’RE HAVING WHAT ON THE BEACH? Rumors and innuendo from the Houseless Grapevine (6/17/2016)
KICKING off summer includes local line dancers practicing “Sex on the Beach” based on the hit song by that title from the nineties https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD6WPaGfyOg. If rumors are true, a local homeless woman I’ll call Trixie is doing more than dancing; she’s allegedly selling sex on the beach, on Alvarado Street in downtown Monterey, and wherever else your-guess-is-as-good-as-mine might imagine. I asked participants in the Interdenominational Homeless Emergency Lodging Program (I-HELP) for Men: What can you tell me, in strictest confidence, about sex-for-sale by members of the peninsula’s homeless community?  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 89 - WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION? Where are Seaside’s new No Parking signs?   (6/24/2016)
FOLLOWING this column’s announcement May 27 of the media blitz on homelessness in San Francisco Wed., June 29, we got this news release from KQED. If it raises questions in your mind, let us know. This month, KQED journalists, along with more than 40 local media organizations, are focusing attention on those living without shelter in the Bay Area. KQED's Bay Curious, an explorative news series that investigates community members' questions, wants to know: What question about homelessness would you like us to look into?   (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 90 - GOD SHED HIS GRACE ON WHOM? An imaginary patriotic conversation with Benjamin Franklin (7/1/2016)
PLANNING my march with the Tap Bananas in Monterey’s 4th of July parade caused me to ponder how the Founding Fathers might view their experimental democratic republic’s 240th anniversary. “If possible, summarize your impression in one sentence,” I imagined myself saying to Benjamin Franklin. He replied, “My prognostication was right.” “What prediction?” “Government of the People, by the People and for the People would last 200 years before greed turned it into a Money Monarchy.” “You mean from 1776 to 1976. . .” “No. Include the Continental Congress years before the federal government went into effect in 1789…  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 91 - BIG BLITZ BANDWAGONEERS They’re blowing the whistle on homelessness  (7/8/2016)
PROVING power of the press wasn’t their point. If Bay Area media cooperated, could they start solving homelessness? They set Wed., June 29, 2016, for a concerted 24-hours media blitz. What happened? Wow!! Extra, Extra, Read All About It! KQED kicked off its campaign via public television; National Public Radio (NPR) targeted listeners. Cedar Street Times jumped on the Big Blitz Bandwagon by publicizing June 29 in this column. The news spawned a movement originally intended to serve the San Francisco area. It that spread across America and is still growing. Indiana poet James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916) might have praised the media colloquially:  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 92 - ARE BIG BANKS TO BLAME? Microchip implants and potted horsemeat for the homeless (7/22/2016)
FOLLOWING last week’s column, screenwriter Ron Libert of Kershaw, SC e-mailed his encounter with homelessness. If Thomas Jefferson could respond, he’d probably agree that Ron confirms his prediction during the 1809 congressional debate to renew the U.S. National Bank Charter: "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered. . ."  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)

Column 93 - ASK GRANNY ANNIE Is she today’s homeless woman’s answer to Ann Landers? (7/22/2016)
FIELDING questions from lovelorn women made Ann Landers a powerful, popular, 20th century newspaper columnist. If she received this question today, how would she react? Dear Ann: I am a 66-year-old reporter. I am homeless. I have a possible relapse of breast cancer, but surgery can’t be performed if I have no home before, during or after the operation. My legs are swollen from sleeping upright in my car. I need a job. Any advice? ~ CSH, Monterey Peninsula, CA CSH’s plea would probably have landed in Ann Landers’ unanswerable-mail slush pile. That was then. This is now. A 21st -century Ann--Granny Annie--welcomes questions from homeless women. She tries to answer them all. She’s the eldest character in Harold E. Grice’s one-act play “The Houseless Hussies.” It’s about homeless women sharing an encampment near a dumpster.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 94 - FAREWELL RECREATIONAL VEHICLES, WELCOME TENT CITY  (7/29/2016)
ERECTING the new signs at entrances to Seaside has been completed. If the notices in shiny black capital letters on white do their job, newcomers seeking overnight camp space will drive on by, taking trash, human excrement, dogs, kids, and homes-on-wheels out of town. I discovered this admonition at Portola Dr. and Fremont Blvd. last week: PARKING RECREATIONAL VEHICLES PROHIBITED. Did all the old curbside residents leave town? To find out, I made a sunset sweep of the area where I’d counted 26 four-wheel homes in May and half as many in June.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
                                                               Columns #95-98 are part of the WONDER WOMEN SERIES, Click here to read them...
                                                             Columns #99-104 are part of the MONTEREY WORKSHOP SERIES, Click here to read them...
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Column 109 - SHARED OFFERINGS How To Succeed On Both Sides Of The Aisle  (11/11/2016)
SURVIVING a presidential election isn’t easy, as evidenced last Tues. when the 45th President-elect of the United States, Donald Trump, was named before all votes had been officially announced. If reaction across the US wasn’t a shockwave, what was it? Instead of becoming America’s first woman president, Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton telephoned Trump and conceded the election after ending her watch party and sending everyone home without making an appearance or speech. In his conciliatory speech, the Republican candidate promised,  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
                                                               Columns #110-114 are part of the SELL THE SIZZLE SERIES, Click here to read them...
Column 115 - HO-HO-HOLIDAY GREETINGS Homeless Santa and the Houseless Census are comin’ to town (12/23/2016)
ACCORDING to hearsay, Homeless Santa’s coming to town; if accurate, he won’t don a purple costume like he did in a scheme orchestrated by Ernie, the entrepreneurial homeless gay chef, two Christmases ago. Ernie’s get-rich scheme flopped because his white-bearded Homeless Santa was a no-show whose youthful stand-in panhandler passed out on a bench near noon. Ernie no longer serves dumpster-dived dishes to homeless holiday-goers. He is learning a creative new profession: wig styling for women recovering from chemo, or male-pattern baldness, or simply in need of fast hairdos. Ernie promises to share a post-holiday gourmet recipe soon.  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Column 116 - COUNTDOWN 2017 Readers ask: How to Help Houseless have a Happy New Year?  (12/30/2016)
RESPONDING to last week’s column, several readers asked how to help homeless people. If New Year timing is included, how about volunteering as head counters in the 2017 Point-in-Time Homeless Census slated for Wed., Jan. 25, 5:30 a.m. to 10 a.m. Census takers will count men, women and children who appear homeless. One reader asked, “Will my partial hearing loss disqualify me from questioning the homeless?”  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
                                                               Columns #117-119 are part of the HASTA LA VISTA SERIES, Click here to read them...
Column 120 - PISSING OFF GRANDMA Pink Pussyhat Project Parades Promote Planetwide Pulchritude  (1/27/2017)
AMAZING! If you missed last Friday’s transfer of power in Washington, D.C., this unbiased mini-cap summarizes the first non-violent worldwide protest of the 21st century. The premiere Social Media Presidential Spectacular featured a supporting cast of millions—mostly women of the worldwide Pussyhat sisterhood. Things started at high noon on the Capitol steps in a cold-but-gentle rain on Jan. 20, 2017. After Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas administered the Oath of Office to incoming President Donald J. Trump, who swore to defend the Constitution of the United States, the nation’s 45th President delivered a gentrified sermonette ala his childhood mentor Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking.” In the spirit of an old-fashioned tent revival pitched to poncho-covered people in the...  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
                                                               Columns #121-135 are part of the HEAR OUR VOICE SERIES, Click here to read them...
                                                               Columns #136-139 are part of THE NIMBY SYNDROME SERIES, Click here to read them...
                                                               Columns #140-151 are part of DINING WITHOUT DOLLARS SERIES, Click here to read them...
                                                               Columns #152-159 are part of HOMELESS HOTSPOTS SERIES, Click here to read them...
                                                               Columns #160-164 are part of IN THEIR OWN WORDS SERIES, Click here to read them...
                                                               Columns #165-174 are part of THE NEW BEDOU SERIES, Click here to read them...
Column 175 - MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR AN EARTHLING CALLED BY THE UNIVERSE  (2/16/2018)
VISITING Darby Moss Worth one last time before she died at home in Carmel Valley didn’t quite happen for me. If time hadn’t run short, I’d have read this poem I wrote when my late partner, Al Baker, was dying. Our mutual friend, Mibs McCarthy, read it in my stead as my last message to Darby: Darby Moss Worth was the epitome of social justice. She loved life itself, and forever was championing a cause that gave dignity and right to every living thing--from California poppies’ roadside lives to the Food Bank for Monterey County which fed the hungry and homeless. When the Food Bank suffered from a devastating fire, Darby called me. She didn’t ask; she ordered, “You are tap dancing in the fundraiser. Be there.” I put on my green bowler hat and green sequin vest and did the waltz clog to the audience’s vocal rendition of “When Irish Eyes are Smiling.” I took a bow, passed the hat, and helped Darby  (CLICK TO CONTINUE READING...)
Columns #176-198 are part of HUMPTY DUMPTY HOUSING SERIES, Click here to read them...
Columns #199-220 are part of CEDAR STREET SUMMIT SERIES, Click here to read them...
Columns #221-255 are part of PENINSULA PULCHRITUDE SERIES, Click here to read them...
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Columns #262-321 are part of IN OUR OWN BACKYARD SERIES, Click here to read them...
Columns #322-341 are part of MONTEREY PENINSULA MAKEOVERS SERIES, Click here to read them...
Columns #342-361 are part of BOONDOGGLE-BUSTING SERIES, Click here to read them...
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